Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (2024)

Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (1)

Marlaina Lanese

August 23, 2024

Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (2)

In the fast-paced, high-stress environment of the restaurant industry, conflicts are inevitable. Whether it's a disagreement over shift schedules or a clash of personalities, how you handle these conflicts can make or break the harmony of your team. In fact, nearly 85% of employees experience some kind of conflict at work, highlighting the importance of effective conflict resolution. Understanding conflict management styles and knowing how to apply them effectively is crucial for maintaining a productive and positive work environment. This guide will break down different conflict management styles, provide real-life conflict examples, and offer actionable strategies for resolving disputes.

What Are Conflict Management Styles?

Conflict management styles are the various approaches that managers and leaders can use to handle disputes in the workplace. Each style has its strengths and weaknesses, and the effectiveness of a style largely depends on the context of the conflict and the individuals involved. The five primary conflict management styles are:

1. Competing: A win-lose approach where one party pursues their goals at the expense of the other party. This style is useful when quick, decisive action is needed; however, it isn’t very favorable, as according to a survey by the Niagara Institute, only 4.3% of people use it.

2. Collaborating

: A win-win approach where both parties work together to find a mutually beneficial solution. This style is ideal for resolving complex conflicts that require creative problem-solving. The collaborating style is the most popular, with 59.8% of people preferring it because it prioritizes harmony and ensures everyone feels heard.

3. Compromising

: A middle-ground approach where each party gives up something to reach a resolution. This style is often used when both parties have equally important goals. It’s the second most common style, chosen by 24.4% of respondents.

4. Avoiding

: A passive approach where one or both parties withdraw from the conflict. This style can be useful when the issue is trivial or when more time is needed to gather information. However, it's the least favored, with only 4.6% of people opting to sidestep or ignore conflict altogether.

5. Accommodating

: A lose-win approach where one party yields to the other's demands. This style is effective when the issue is more important to one party than the other. It’s used by 6.8% of respondents, typically to maintain harmony.

Understanding these styles is the first step in effectively managing conflicts within your team. Let’s dive deeper into each conflict management style and explore examples of when each approach is best. The key is to choose the right style for the situation at hand.

What Is the Competing Conflict Management Style?

The competing conflict management style is a win-lose approach where one party pursues their own goals or needs at the expense of the other party. This style is characterized by assertiveness and a desire to achieve one’s own objectives, even if it means stepping on others' toes. The competing style is often decisive, with little room for compromise or collaboration. It’s a high-stakes, high-risk approach, typically used when quick, authoritative action is necessary, or when the outcome is more important than the relationship between the parties involved.

When to Use the Competing Conflict Management Style

The competing style is most effective in situations where:

  • Decisive Action is Required: If a conflict arises that requires a quick, firm decision, the competing style can be appropriate. This might be necessary in emergencies or when a decision needs to be made swiftly to prevent further issues.
  • Enforcing Rules and Standards: When maintaining standards, policies, or rules is critical, and when leniency could lead to bigger problems down the road, the competing style ensures that rules are upheld without negotiation. For example, washing your hands before handling food, throwing out expired ingredients, and arriving on time for your shift.
  • Protecting Vital Interests: If the conflict involves protecting something crucial to the organization, such as its reputation, safety, or key resources, the competing style allows for strong action to safeguard these interests.


Example of Using the Competing Style

Scenario: A line cook is consistently violating health and safety regulations, such as not washing their hands after handling raw food. This behavior poses a significant risk to customer safety and the restaurant's reputation.


Using the Competing Style:

1. Immediate Confrontation: The manager confronts the employee directly and firmly, making it clear that this behavior is unacceptable and violates strict health codes.

2. Uncompromising Action

: The manager enforces the restaurant’s policies without negotiation, perhaps issuing a formal warning or taking disciplinary action to ensure compliance.

3. Communicating Consequences

: The manager explains the potential consequences of continued violations, such as suspension or termination, emphasizing the importance of maintaining high safety standards.

In this scenario, the competing style is necessary to prevent any compromise on critical safety standards, ensuring that the restaurant continues to operate safely and within legal guidelines.

What Is the Collaborating Conflict Management Style?

The collaborating conflict management style is a win-win approach where all parties involved in the conflict work together to find a solution that fully satisfies everyone’s needs. This style is characterized by open communication, mutual respect, and a focus on problem-solving rather than competition. Unlike other styles where one party might have to concede or where a quick compromise is made, the collaborating style aims to address the root of the conflict and come up with a solution that benefits all involved. It’s a time-intensive approach but is often the most effective for resolving complex or deep-seated conflicts, and it’s particularly useful when the relationships between the parties are as important as the outcome.

When to Use the Collaborating Conflict Management Style

The collaborating style is most effective for:

  • Complex Issues: When the conflict involves complex issues that require creative problem-solving, collaborating allows for a thorough exploration of potential solutions.
  • Important Relationships: If maintaining a strong, positive relationship between the conflicting parties is crucial, collaborating ensures that everyone’s concerns are addressed and that the outcome is mutually beneficial.
  • Long-Term Solutions: Collaborating is ideal when the goal is to find a long-term, sustainable solution to the conflict rather than a quick fix. It helps prevent the same issue from resurfacing in the future.

Example of Using the Collaborating Style

Scenario: Two team members in a restaurant have conflicting ideas about a new menu item. One wants to introduce a health-conscious option, while the other believes that the menu should focus on traditional, indulgent dishes that have always been popular with customers.


Using the Collaborating Style
:

1. Facilitating Open Dialogue: The manager brings both employees together to discuss their ideas in an open and respectful manner. Each person is encouraged to express their views and concerns without interruption.

2. Exploring Solutions Together

: The team brainstorms potential solutions that could satisfy both perspectives. For example, they might consider creating a dish that combines health-conscious ingredients with traditional flavors, appealing to both sides.

3. Developing a Mutually Beneficial Outcome

: They decide to add both a health-conscious option and a traditional dish to the menu, offering customers more variety. This solution not only resolves the conflict but also enhances the restaurant’s offerings, making it a win-win for everyone.

In this scenario, the collaborating style allows for a creative and inclusive solution that meets the needs of both parties while also benefiting the restaurant as a whole. By taking the time to collaborate, the manager fosters a sense of teamwork and ensures that all voices are heard, leading to a more cohesive and motivated team. This approach is particularly effective when the conflict involves important issues or when the relationship between team members is a top priority.

Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (3)

What Is the Compromising Conflict Management Style?

The compromising conflict management style is a middle-ground approach where each party involved in the conflict gives up something to reach a mutually acceptable resolution. This style is characterized by a willingness to find a solution that partially satisfies both parties, rather than fully satisfying either. It’s often viewed as a "lose-lose" situation because both sides concede something, but it’s also a practical and efficient way to resolve conflicts quickly without prolonged disputes. The compromising style is best used when the goals of both parties are equally important, but a quick resolution is needed, or when the relationship between the parties is more important than winning the conflict.

When to Use the Compromising Conflict Management Style

The compromising style is most effective in the below scenarios:

  • Equal Importance of Goals: When both parties have equally important objectives, and neither is willing or able to completely give in, compromising allows each to achieve part of their goal.
  • Time Constraints: If a decision needs to be made quickly and there isn’t enough time to fully explore a collaborative solution, compromising can be a practical choice to move forward.
  • Maintaining Relationships: When preserving the relationship between the conflicting parties is more important than the specific outcome, compromising helps avoid resentment and keeps interactions civil.

Example of Using the Compromising Style

Scenario: Two employees are in disagreement over who should get the upcoming weekend off. Both have legitimate reasons for needing the time, and neither is willing to fully concede.


Using the Compromising Style
:

1. Listening to Both Sides: The manager listens to the reasons each employee has for needing the time off, recognizing that both have valid points.

2. Proposing a Middle Ground

: The manager suggests a rotating schedule where one employee takes the weekend off this time, and the other employee gets the next preferred weekend off. Alternatively, the weekend could be split, with one taking Saturday off and the other Sunday.

3. Agreement and Resolution

: Both employees agree to the compromise, understanding that while they didn’t get everything they wanted, the solution is fair and balanced.

In this scenario, the compromising style allows the manager to resolve the conflict quickly and fairly, ensuring that neither employee feels entirely overlooked, and the team remains cohesive. This approach is particularly useful when time is limited, and maintaining team harmony is a priority.

What Is the Avoiding Conflict Management Style?

The avoiding conflict management style is a passive approach where one or both parties choose not to address the conflict directly. This style is characterized by a low level of assertiveness and cooperativeness, where the conflict is either sidestepped, postponed, or entirely ignored. The avoiding style can be useful when the issue is trivial, when emotions are too high for a productive discussion, or when more time is needed to gather information. However, it can also lead to unresolved issues that may escalate if not eventually addressed.

When to Use the Avoiding Conflict Management Style

The avoiding style is most effective for:

  • Trivial Issues: When the conflict is over a minor issue that doesn’t significantly impact the overall operation or team dynamics, avoiding can be a way to prevent unnecessary tension.
  • Need for Cool-Down Period: If emotions are running high, avoiding the conflict temporarily can provide time for everyone to cool down, which may lead to a more productive discussion later.
  • Lack of Information: If there isn’t enough information to make an informed decision or to effectively address the conflict, avoiding it until more data is available can be a prudent choice.

Example of Using the Avoiding Style

Scenario: Two employees have a minor disagreement over something inconsequential, like the choice of background music during prep time. The disagreement is causing tension, but it’s not affecting the overall workflow or customer experience.


Using the Avoiding Style
:

1. Deciding Not to Engage: The manager notices the disagreement but determines that the issue is too trivial to warrant intervention. Instead, the manager chooses to avoid addressing the conflict directly, allowing the employees to work it out on their own.

2. Monitoring the Situation

: The manager keeps an eye on the situation to ensure it doesn’t escalate but otherwise lets the minor conflict resolve naturally.

3. Choosing the Right Time

: If the conflict persists or begins to affect the team’s morale, the manager might choose to address it later, after gathering more information or once emotions have cooled.

In this scenario, the avoiding style helps the manager prevent a small issue from becoming a larger problem by not giving it more attention than it deserves. This approach is effective because it allows minor conflicts to be resolved on their own, freeing up the manager to focus on more critical issues. However, it's important for the manager to remain vigilant and ready to intervene if the conflict escalates or starts to impact the team’s productivity. Avoiding is a strategy best used sparingly and with careful consideration of the potential long-term effects of leaving conflicts unresolved.

Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (4)

What Is the Accommodating Conflict Management Style?

The accommodating conflict management style is a lose-win approach where one party gives in to the wishes or demands of another, often at the expense of their own needs or desires. This style is characterized by a high level of cooperativeness but low assertiveness. It’s typically used when the accommodating party values the relationship more than the specific outcome of the conflict or when the issue is more important to the other party. The accommodating style can help maintain harmony and prevent further conflict, but it may also lead to frustration or resentment if overused, as it often involves self-sacrifice.

When to Use the Accommodating Conflict Management Style

The accommodating style is most effective for:

  • Preserving Relationships: When the relationship is more important than the specific issue at hand, accommodating can help to maintain peace and goodwill.
  • Minor Issues: If the issue is relatively unimportant or if the outcome doesn’t significantly impact the accommodating party, this style can resolve the conflict quickly without much fuss.
  • Learning and Growth: Sometimes, accommodating can be used as a strategic choice to allow the other party to learn from their experience or to promote their growth, especially in mentor-mentee or manager-employee relationships.

Example of Using the Accommodating Style

Scenario: A server requests a specific day off to attend a family event. Another server is also scheduled to have that day off but doesn’t have any pressing commitments.


Using the Accommodating Style
:

1. Understanding the Importance: The second server, recognizing the importance of the family event to their colleague, willingly agrees to work the shift, despite originally planning to take the day off.

2. Sacrificing for the Team

: By accommodating their colleague’s request, the server prioritizes the team’s needs and the well-being of their coworker over their own desire for a day off.

3. Maintaining Team Harmony

: This act of accommodation helps to maintain a positive work environment and strengthens the relationship between the two servers, fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect.

In this scenario, the accommodating style allows the manager to resolve the conflict swiftly while promoting a cooperative and supportive team culture. Although the accommodating server doesn’t get their original request, the gesture helps build stronger team dynamics and shows that sometimes making sacrifices for the benefit of others can lead to a more harmonious workplace. However, it’s important to use this style judiciously to avoid creating an imbalance where one party frequently feels the need to give in.

Which Conflict Management Style Is the Most Popular?

The collaborating management style is the most popular, with almost 60% of people selecting it as their preferred style. This style is particularly favored because it not only resolves the immediate issue but also fosters a stronger, more cohesive team by ensuring that all parties' concerns are addressed. By taking the time to collaborate, managers can build trust among team members, improve communication, and create solutions that everyone can buy into, which helps prevent future conflicts.

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How to Choose the Right Conflict Management Style

Choosing the right conflict management style requires a careful assessment of the situation. Consider the following factors:

  • The Nature of the Conflict: Is it a simple misunderstanding or a deep-rooted issue? Minor conflicts might be best handled through compromise, while more significant disputes may require collaboration.
  • The Individuals Involved: Are the parties emotionally invested, or is this a more detached disagreement? Knowing your team members’ personalities can help you choose a style that will be most effective.
  • Potential Impact on Team Dynamics: Will the conflict resolution affect team morale or productivity? In high-stakes situations, collaborating or compromising might be necessary to maintain team cohesion.


Tips for Preventing Employee Conflicts

While conflict management is essential, preventing conflicts from arising in the first place is even better. Here are some proactive strategies:

  • Clear Communication: Ensure that all team members understand their roles, responsibilities, and expectations. Regularly communicate any changes or updates to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Regular Feedback: Provide consistent feedback, both positive and constructive, to address issues before they escalate into conflicts.
  • Team Building: Foster a sense of camaraderie and teamwork. When employees feel like they’re part of a supportive team, they’re less likely to engage in conflicts.
  • Conflict Resolution Training: Equip your managers and team leads with conflict resolution training. This can help them handle disputes more effectively and prevent minor issues from becoming major problems.

The Role of Leadership in Conflict Resolution

Leadership plays a pivotal role in conflict resolution. As a manager or shift lead, you set the tone for how conflicts are handled within your team. Here are some strategies to enhance your leadership in conflict resolution:

  • Lead by Example: Demonstrate calm, rational behavior in the face of conflict. Your team will follow your lead.
  • Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment where employees feel comfortable voicing their concerns. This can prevent conflicts from simmering under the surface.
  • Seek Feedback: Regularly ask your team for feedback on how conflicts are handled. This can provide insights into areas for improvement and help you fine-tune your conflict resolution approach.

Creating a Harmonious Workplace

Effective conflict management is critical to maintaining a harmonious and productive work environment. By understanding and applying the right conflict management styles, you can address disputes in a way that benefits everyone involved. Remember, the goal is not just to resolve conflicts but to use them as opportunities for growth and improvement within your team.


Dealing with employee conflicts? Push offers free access to HR labor compliance experts to help you navigate even the toughest workplace challenges. Receive personalized consultation on conflict resolution when you need it, ensuring that your team remains productive, compliant, and harmonious. Don’t let conflicts disrupt your operations — book your free demo today and get the support you need to manage your workforce with confidence.

Proven Conflict Management Styles and Real-Life Conflict Examples (2024)
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